Women & Alcohol by @The_Rell

How yall doing?? Really, it don't matter... It's @The_Rell and I'm back with another one!!!! This time about the choices women make at the bar. You can tell a lot about a woman by the liquor she drinks, flat out!! How many times have you offered a chick a drink at the bar and either been shocked or impressed by what she wanted? I'm about to give you the run down on what to think and expect when you find out what shorty is drinking.

Hennessy or Crown Royal - This Chick will meet you at the jailhouse to pay your bond!! She will maneuver thru five o'clock traffic at unbelievable speeds to make sure her man is on time for work!! But trust that she is crazy!!!! This is the same chick that busted your windows out of your car and flattened your tires in the same night!! She checks your mentions on Twitter and monitors who's writing on your Facebook wall!! And she may be quick to put a bitch in check for crossing the line!!

At the end of the day she does not play when it comes to her man! You can always trust a chick that will sit back and sip a Henny and Coke with the homies. If you find one, treat her right. Besides, there's a 60% chance that she can roll your weed.

Courvoisier or Conjure - Dont even think about trusting this girl for more than two seconds. Yeah I'm sure she's cold; possibly the baddest chick at the bar, but she is not to be trusted AT ALL, B!! This chick is looking for a brother with MONEY!!! All of it. She is looking to get pregnant and live off of child support for the next 18 years! Why, you might ask? Well just look at her drink of choice!

Conjure... the only reason she likes it is because rappers endorse it! Plus, that Courvoisier is only because of that Diddy and Busta song. So yeah, chances are she's just a cougar sitting at the bar looking for a nice young guy to help her get her groove back. She goes to Happy Hour specials soon as she clocks out of work Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday! That is..if she has a job.

These girls are not to be trusted especially after you've did the do. Sleep with your wallet within sight and within arms reach.

Grey Goose, Belvedere, or Absolute - These girls make great friends!! Need a chick to hit up after the club? - Choose her. Need a chick to go out on
a date with? - Choose her. Need a chick to talk to when your main is acting up? - Choose her!

How can you not love a chick that can take a shot of Goose straight with no chaser? Or Belve?? C'mon man, this chick can't have a gag reflex. Thats almost impossible!!! These chicks know what they want and will do whatever to get it!! She's classy most of the time and well dressed, but will get down and dirty to get in VIP at the club if Jeezy is there. The juror is still out on whether you can trust them or not, but they are definitely down for a good time.

Patron, Ciroc, Ciroc Red Berry, or Ciroc Coconut - I'm telling you right now... If she's messing with you, you have to get her before she realizes who you really are! This chick wants the big bucks. Forget Luda and all of those other rappers. She wants the Baby's and Jay-Z's. The CEOs. This chick will break an ankle and hurdle over a bum to get to them too. She won't stop for anything!

This chick hasn't paid for a drink or a party since Major Woody's! She's Lil Boosie bad. More than likely, she is light skinned with long hair. Who knows if it's hers... It doesn't matter because she'll talk you into buying them $8 shots in a jiffy. Once she finds out you're just a regular guy and you only popped that bottle for your birthday, she'll be gone faster than Lebron from Cleveland! :(

Same rules apply.. if you're lucky enough to get her in the crib, the wallet and   valuables are to remain where your eyes can see them.

Smirnoff, E & J, Paul Masson, or Bacardi - I don't even know where to begin!! These girls just want a cheap thrill!! They are the same girls that are at the club at 10pm to get in free!! They usually come in groups of at least four or more and almost always have a baby daddy or two. When they can finally get in the club they're the ones dancing and the center of attention! They have a lot of one night stands!! Matter of fact, 75% of the girls on Maury are apart of this group!

They make great side chicks and all they need is an extra $20 and a couple of life lessons so they can get to the "promise land" of Crown, Henny or Goose. Anytime you see a cold one taking back a shot of one of these drinks... bag them quick. There's a 48% chance that she has potential. Times just might be hard.

Wine Drinkers - Beware of women that only drink wine. They are reformed hoes!!!! I don't care what they say! They used to get fucked up back in the day but after one too many one night stands and a couple times waking up in an unfamiliar place, they decided to try to change their ways!

Don't worry, they still get tipsy off that Moscato and just enough will have the box ready! You have to play these chicks smooth. Don't let them know your plans and always make sure her glass stays full! Remember those two simple rules and you will definitely end the night with a win.



Well thats all I can think of at this moment. Don't forget... keep those drinks flowing, don't let her out of your sight after the 2nd drink, and remember that people get screen capped everyday, B!!