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Project Glass: Googling Your Eyes Out!

While Instagram dropped on Android causing every iPhone user to bitch about the lack of exclusivity of the app (Hey iPhone people if a billion people have the same phone as you it's not exclusive) Google dropped their scariest project yet. 

Earlier this week Google unveiled their latest project, 'Google Glasses.' It's another clever ploy for Google to pry into your everyday life and simultaneously suck the nutrients out of your irises.

Watch the video below to see how it works.



First Google made it creepy to use the search button. Then they added that weird privacy thing and now this. This is like Gattaca had sex with Miniorty Report and had a Terminator baby.

I'll admit it does kind of make you look like Justin Slayer in his hilarious POV scenes and it does look like it'll help you out in a jam where you need to find the cleanest public restroom within a 2 mile radius but a Computer on my head? I don't even have a Macbook yet and how weird is it going to be when people are commanding instructions to their eyeballs. That's a little too Tony Stark for my tastes(If you're counting at home that's like 4 pop culture references and 1 porno blast. Move over Bill Simmons!)

Did you realize how everyone in the aftermentioned video is a hipster? Green Tea, Monsiuer Gayno, Used Book Store, Ukelelezzz, Hipster friend with hipster scarf, more green tea, ghey street art, hipster girlfriend.

Welcome to the future: Portlandia!


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