Go Ahead And Get Mad Jabroni..

There has been a lot of jabroni-like bulljive going on since I’ve turned 18, matriculated from college and became an adult… I can no longer deal with the crap that these reggins dish out… chump-like behavior is at an all-time high and.. well I have MUCH to say about it.. in no particular order

||use of the word “I” indicates I am speaking on behalf of all people dealing with jabronis||

1. If u are staring -- make a move or take a picture.. this aint high school.. don’t you hate to be in the club, in the grocery store, at the gym, etc. and spot an attractive young man noticing you.. only to look and not touch approach?! Fellas, if you see something you like.. at least be polite enough to speak.. staring is not okay.. it is creepy! If you are mesmerized but not interested.. then look away creep!

2. Stop putting your hands on us & walkin up on us in the club --  ugh reggin! I don’t care what a woman is doing or what she is wearing.. treat us like you would a stripper.. look but don’t touch! It is rude, off-putting and plain weird as hail for a stranger to grab a chunk of ass or start randomly dancing with you while you’re just grooving with your girlfriends.. YES, I came to hang with my girls YES, I want to dance NO, not with you.. if she wants to dance with you.. she’ll let you know..

3. Stop callin us bitches just b/c we don't like you – or for any other reason.. take rejection like a man.. if she is not acting like a female dog.. garden tool or other derogatory term.. then you have no reason to call her that or treat her in that manner.. and I don’t care how many rats you know that refer to themselves as “five star bitches”.. ladies don’t want to be called that by each other or by men

4. Yeah we expect u to pay – so take your wallet out & get over it.. for every “independent-I-can-do-it-myself” chick there is out there.. there is a woman who believes in traditional roles and wants a man to be a man.. we are not gold diggers.. we just want you to act the way a man should.. just think of it this way: you pay in cash.. we pay in.. time, compliments and being cute

5. If all u really wanna do is sex me up -- just say so.. when you hear these words “so, what are you looking for?” or something in that range.. say what you are looking for.. don’t lie.. don’t be evasive.. don’t be vague.. just be honest.. last time I’ll say it: the more honest you are, the more respect you receive.. you might not get the panties.. but.. you’ll be respected.. And honey child please.. don’t lie to get the draws.. we are too old!

6. Stop expecting to get laid – I know.. and most other females know.. when you say “wanna come over and watch a movie?” what you really mean is “wanna come over so I can try to get in your draws?”.. but don’t think just because we actually come over there that we are going to allow you to get in there like swimwear! And don’t look at a chick funny when really she says “so, what movie we gonna watch?”.. we will play hard to get and we will make it a challenge.. so.. don’t give up too easy and don’t overstep your boundaries..

7. Just b/c we had sex once or twice -- doesn't mean that is all I want from you.. now.. sure.. that is probably all you are good for.. but maybe it’s been a while (like 6 months) since we’ve interacted physically and I have closed business for you.. that doesn’t mean I don’t just want some male company that I am comfortable with every now and then.. don’t try to act like I am just calling you for a good time.. oh wait.. that’s all you want to come over for?! Well shoot.. nevermind  

8. GROW UP – guys playing games, telling lies, keeping side chicks, and other lame practices.. stop it fivvvvve (KILLA).. if you are over the age of 21, it is time to cut the braids off, pull your pants up, tell the truth and act like an adult.. chumps and jabronis.. it is not cute to make the people around you feel as if they are dealing with a high school kid.. I mean.. are you really 24 at an Icebreaker!?

Now.. you know this list is not sufficient.. and is directed at the men.. but trust.. the ladies have it comin too.. all you Barbies, Hood Stars (read: rats) and “grown” women.. get ready..

Signing off..

m. -will knock your block off- lauren