I'm that close...

I'm at...a loss of words, but I'm more disturbed over my loss of the word, not a Microsoft program... but another program in which I fold my hands, hold my hands up noticing I am man,and if that I am then I know I am losing from the start.... cause that's just the way of man, lately I've been suffocating in the sands of sin,giving in so much the results have reached the chin, soon enough I'll be living fully in this world again, soon enough I'll be a fool again, it may be little stuff, but I've seen it build up as people are left it ruins, destrot and often left to rot as hell is the place that's looming,so I need PUSH to change the direction I'm moving, I need Pray Until Something Happens for the reason is not how good I feel in life, but what is felt after death...reason why I'm so scared to hold my breath,I'm not saved yet....