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Twerk Time by @LeronCrowd

:Turns down Practice By Drake:

 Choosing season happens in Republic too. Everybody drinking and fellowshipping and then her song blares through the speakers. You, being as cool as you are, she walks over to you and puts your waistline on the spot. Congrats! You've been chosen! Now the situation is about to get authentic. She's about to test you B. It's TWERK TIME! Here are some guidelines to get you through her experiment and straight to breakfast in bed.

1. Check your surroundings - Where are you standing? If you're on the wall, it's the safest bet for you. Nothing more supportive than a wall to hold you up while she backs you down. If you're on the dance floor, and you don't work out, you better have your boys around to hold you up. Nothing more unattractive to a woman than to see you tumbling over because you can't support her fluffy buns. Most women are filthy during this stage if YOU did the choosing. They'll look to their friends for the "is he cute" confirmation. It's nasty out here B. Gotta try to let her make the draft picks.

2. Rhythm - Fam. If you have none, you should be on a wall. Don't let her feel that you can't keep up rhythmically. She'll walk out on you like a dead beat parent with no explanation or tutorial to help you regain composure. Not all, but some ladies equate dancing with bumping uglies. If you gotta turn into Chad DC Palmer to land the plane, do it. 

3. Composure - Dog. Composure. This is important. You're one bar into a song and you get a wood. She might walk off if you get tough before the first hook. Let the hook fall thru before you turn the dance floor into a stage. If she feels your warrior and you're 3 songs in, you may have to consider that she sized you up and was pleased with the Waistline x Fluffy Buns combo. Start gripping her waist and whatever else she lets you grip. Just don't turn into a repeat sex offender, doing a lot of extra groping.

4. The Flourish - it's crunchtime. More than likely, shorty is feeling you. Time to get in her ear and whisper greatness, BUT ONLY on a slow, sensual, sexual song. Nothing that you can barely hear the DJ over. You gotta make the SMS transaction while the liquor still is in her veins even if you have to take her to the bar and get her another drink. Keep the grounds leveled. I'm not saying get her drunk, you savages. Definitely keep it clean and consensual. Now if for some reason you dirty heathens messed this up at step 3 and she's not budging, get out of there and start fresh with something new. Don't get spotted with the same girl for the duration of a VH1 show length. It's a turn off to other vixens because they think she's with you. 

Congrats! The twerk system I've set in place should have you flourishing well into the early morning. The twerk is more than a dance B. It's a moment that could possibly mean more to her than you. Capitalize on her body language. Your savage instincts should let you know if she's trying to take this show on the road to breakfast in bed. Hey you New Negroes; whatever point you make it to in this strenuous process, DON'T FOLLOW HER AROUND THE CLUB! She will contact you after last call or find you during the parking lot pimping scene if she's ready to be Mrs. 4am. Until next time, This ain't a SubBlog. Let the @'s land where they may B! God bless you all! 

:Turns up John Lennon "Give Peace A Chance":