So.. What Exactly Are Your Intentions?!

in⋅ten⋅tion [in-ten-shuhn] –noun 1. an act or instance of determining mentally upon some action or result. 2. the end or object intended; purpose.

In everything that we do, we have an intention or purpose for it.. when it comes to dating.. there are usually two intentions: Sex or Relationship

When dealing with learning the intentions of another person, it is as important to watch for clues as it is to ask them straightout..

It's Only About Sex:

Communication -- when a person just wants to have sex with you their communication will consist of 1. initially contacting you and getting you interested and 2. keeping in contact with you post-sex so that they can have sex with you again.. if the person you are "dating" only communicates with you briefly, for instance, via a couple back and forth texts or a quick im & the subject of those communications encompass the details of the next encounter or are about sex.. then this is probably a sex thang

Conversation -- when a person only wants to have sex with you, they are likely to engage you in conversation and other civil activities before taking your clothes off.. but only if this is the first time.. they will want you to be comfortable.. the context of these conversations will be very shallow and neutral though.. I like to call this "facebooking".. most of the information gathered is basic info that anyone could find out on your facebook page (birthday, favorite book, people you are friends with).. they are not interested in getting to know you or having you around for long.. so they will collect facebook-worthy data in an attempt to seem like they are interested

Time -- time spent is second only to communication when building a relationship.. it is not just the amount of time spent, but the way in which the time is spent.. in sexual relationships, quality time consists of shallow comfortableness (conversation, food, watching a movie, etc.) until the clothes come off.. non-sexual time is usually kept to a minimum

Or

It may be about something deeper:

Communication -- upon meeting a new person, establishing a pattern of "getting to know you" is important.. initial contacts will probably be shallow and short.. hello, how are you, etc. texts may occur.. however.. the frequency, depth and mode of communication will grow if the intent is to build a lasting relationship.. what started out as cute texts here and there will probably grow to a couple of phone conversations, dates, and talking in person

Conversation -- when a person is genuinely trying to get to know you, they will want to know as much as they can about you.. "facebooking" will occur but will be done in initial contacts.. the longer the dating occurs, the deeper the conversations will be.. they will learn information about you that cannot be found on a "This or That" survey.. this is important because the more information they are able to gather, the closer the two of you will become

Time -- quality time is something that cannot be questioned.. you will spend time together both in and out of the house, doing things that both of you enjoy.. the time spent getting to know each other will never trump the time spent naked.. when someone wants more out of you than what resides in your pants, they are willing to spend time with you to get it.. the person who intends to only have sex with you will not spend time getting to know you on a deep or meaningful level, something that is best done via quality time

These clues are not all-encompassing.. you should always ask straight up what a person wants and expects of you before you do anything sexual with them.. don't wait until after you've gotten it in for the 12th time to say "hey, what are you looking for?" He's clearly already found it..

What other ways can you think of that indicates whether you are a booty call or if their in it for the long haul!? Let me know your thoughts..

-m. lauren